Ah, parenting. If it were an Olympic sport, we'd all be in the running for gold medals, am I right? This summer, as part of our "Summer of Connection" program, let's dive into some truths about parenting that are as honest as they are humorous. Buckle up, fellow parents, because we're in for a ride!
The Power of "AND" in Parenting
Here's a nugget of wisdom you can have free of charge: embrace the concept of "AND" in parenting. And is about holding two truths simultaneously without negating one or the other. For example, you can be firm AND compassionate, set boundaries AND show empathy, enforce rules AND offer flexibility. Parenting doesn't have to be a series of either/or decisions. By integrating "AND," we can navigate the delicate balance of guiding our children while respecting their individuality. This approach fosters a more holistic and harmonious parenting experience, making our journey a bit smoother—and maybe even a little more fun.
Where can you incorporate more “ands” in your parenting this week?
It's Not Hard for You; It's Hard for Them
Remember the first time you tried to do a cartwheel? Probably not, because you were like five, and at that age, our bodies are practically made of rubber. But imagine trying to do one now (ouch!). That's a bit like what our kids go through every day when they tackle new challenges. Understanding brain development and the impact of stress on how the brain functions is crucial. When their brains are "offline" due to stress, they struggle to manage expectations.
So, the next time you're ready to say, "Come on, it's not that hard," remember that it actually is—for them. Patience, empathy, and a good sense of humor will go a long way.
Generational Differences Are Real
Ah, the good old days. When we roamed free until the streetlights came on, and our biggest worry was which flavor of Kool-Aid to drink. Fast-forward to today, the culture of childhood has drastically changed. Kids have access to more information than we ever did, and they need us less to answer their questions. AND they need us to be even more aware of how things are different growing up in today’s world.
Parents are expected to behave differently, too. Letting your kids walk a couple of blocks alone can now get you scolded (or worse). These changes are real and impact how we parent. One of the worst things you can say to your kid? "When I was growing up..." It’s like hitting the mute button on their listening skills. Instead, try to engage in conversations that acknowledge their unique experiences.
Welcome to Techland
Ah, the land of screens and pixels. Video games, smartphones, tablets—our kids are growing up in Techland. Balancing tech use is all about setting boundaries and sticking to them (easier said than done, I know). But here's the kicker: we have to follow those rules too!
Set limits, use apps to manage time, and don't be afraid to cut off the Wi-Fi or turn off cell access ( I do this at night to avoid battles). With consistency, it does get easier. And remember, their brains are still developing, so they need help managing their screen time. Teaching them how to manage themselves and tech is the better option than controlling all aspects of tech. They will need tech to function as an adult; the question is how they will do it.
Socialization is Essential in a Post-COVID World
COVID-19 threw a wrench into our kids' social development. They missed out on crucial face-to-face interactions, which are vital for learning social skills, reading social cues, and interpreting facial expressions. The human brain needs these developmental milestones, even if delayed.
Kids need to practice social skills in the real world, which means feeling anxious or uncomfortable at times. There's no substitute for this. Role play with them, watch a show on mute and have them guess what people are saying based on nonverbal cues, and encourage outdoor play and movement. More than soccer practice is needed; they need intimate interactions. Stay connected by guiding them through it.
So, fellow parents, let’s embrace these truths with a smile and a laugh. We can all do this—one cartwheel, one Wi-Fi shutdown, and one social interaction at a time.
Happy parenting this summer!
Amy’s Book Recommendations:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace
This is an often recommended book in both my sessions and my circles. In Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies the process of identifying, setting, and holding boundaries. Boundaries do not always mean no, and they don’t always mean an extreme. The ability to identify areas and relationships in your life that need the protection of a healthy boundary is extremely helpful - not only in parenting but in personal and professional relationships across the board. If you’re looking for a place to start that provides scenarios, scripts and reasonable expectations, this is a fantastic resource.
Alcatraz vs The Evil Librarians 8+
This book series follows a hero whose special talent is… breaking things. This series delights in the ordinary by reframing “flaws” into superpowers. The conventional good guys aren’t all that conventional and the bad guys are Librarians vying for world domination. Sanderson’s world building is almost always flawless and, in my opinion, the characters are neurodiverse in a way that celebrates neurodiversity without preaching about neurodiversity. It’s a very fun and zany read.
Comments